This is kind of an old picture, but it gives you the idea behind my writings today.  I called this photo 'The Adventurers'.  These are my children exploring their back yard one foggy, moody morning. 

I have been wanting to write about homeschooling my two wonderful kids for a while now, but have been hesitant, for a myrad of reasons.  Firstly, I am somewhat private about my family.  I don't walk the beaten path, and feel somewhat vulnerable to certain situations that I won't elaborate on here.  Just suffice it to say it involves with people who don't approve of me, or my lifestyle, and have, in the past, gone so far as to really make my life living hell.  And worse, my childrens', all because they had hoped to manipulate me into making different choices than I do. 

But, in spite of my 'black sheep' ways, I love my life (it's far from perfect, and there are somethings that need changing, but I am at peace with that), and my choices I have made, especially homeschooling.  And it is such a joy, I have a strong desire to share the experience with people.  I have come to some wonderful discoveries of my own.  Having my children home with me, and under mine and my husband's care and direction, have brought them to light just by experiencing the world from their perspective.

A second reason for not writing until now, I never felt I had anything 'profound' to say about homeschooling.  Until recently, I guess.  After feeling like I was struggling for 5 years, I am finally able to see how much of it isn't really based on the academics so much, and 'keeping up' with the grades, but it is much, much more than that.

My children  have shown me, they will learn what they need to, when they are ready.  My daughter just couldn't do math beyond basic adding and subtracting for a long while, and I was starting to get really worried I was not going to be able to find a way to teach her, and help her 'keep up'.  She fought every effort I made to help her.  Out of exhaustion on both our parts, I let it go for a while, and we dinked around with the stuff we knew she could do, but didn't introduce anything new. 

My son was hung up on reading and writing.  He just didn't want to do it. Oy veh!  I was really starting to wonder if I shouldn't have sent him to preschool, as I had DD.  I was not sure I was going to be able to teach him to read! 

Of course, it does not help that my folks don't believe that I can pull these guys through, by myself, all the way to being ready for college if they so choose, and they are rather vocal about it.    And the ex mother in law, who normally is very good about just letting me 'do what I feel is best because it is my best', started to panic a short while back when she had taken DD to a fabric store and DD didn't know how many feet were in a yard! 

But, finally, I can see, the kids both came to a point, where they wanted what they hadn't learned yet enough that they started to seek out opportunities to learn the skills.  They would run into something in life that made it clear to them, they need to learn the skill, if they ever wanted to be independent.  My kids value their independence, so it was important to them to be able to read their computer instructions, and figure out how to use what measuring tools we have to whip up a recipe.  DD is still struggling with math issues, but has come a LONG ways, and has learned to work with herself more on getting it figured out.  DS reads and writes better and better every day, and is ahead of his grade level now.

But, even more than that, this discovery seems to have opened up the world to them.  They see things and wonder about things and are constantly asking questions and seeking answers to everything they encounter.  I am just amazed with the ideas, concepts, theories and realizations that they come up with in exploring their world, and how well they can explain to me what they are experiencing.  Whether it is simple things such as how yeast works in bread making, or as complex as world view, my kids are into it.  Yes, my kids understand some of what is going on in their world, I see to that.  It seems to only serve to push them to ask more questions, to drive harder to find out details and make their own judgements based on what they learn. 

Sure, they need guidence, and help in finding information.  Sure, they are going to get a bit of a biased point from me, but won't they from anyone they encounter?  I try to help them understand that.  It only seems to add fuel to their fires.  They want an opinion of their own, and they want to know everyone elses.  They want facts to build on, experiences to draw from, and ideas to branch out with.  It is so awesome and encouraging to see them respond to their  environments the way that they do.  I feel very lucky that as an adult, after I left the runduncy of the school system, I found my curiosity and had the same drive to learn all I could about my world around me.  So at least I can answer some of their questions, as well as some of my own, and help them find more answers through research. 

I no longer have the fear that my kids won't thrive under homeschooling.  I am driven as much as they are now, learning with them, and fostering relationships with them I would never trade for anything.  Sure, we may not know how to change standard to metric, we'll get to that at some point.  But, my kids know a lot of things a good number of adults don't even know.  They know how to think for themselves and test their theories.  They are learning to express themselves with confidence and pride in what they have worked so hard to learn.  They are learning the hard way that not everyone will agree with them, but they are also learning to stand strong in what they believe in, but to still be able to make changes and work with their ideals when the facts show they need to.

After 5 years, I am totally, and completely dumbfounded by the incredible intellegence and beauty of a child's mind.  Just given the right medium, the right encouragement and resources, just like an acorn, it can grow into a mighty oak.  And like that oak, not only can it stand strong with it's roots firmly entwined into the ground in which it grew from, but it can provide shade, shelter and resources to it's environment and those around it as it grows and in it's maturity. 

Makes you realize just  how awesome the gift of children really is....

Kim

Well, we hear we are in for another snow storm in a few days.  So, it's been a busy day around here getting ready.  We are fairly sure our power will go out again, so need to make sure the supplies are stocked up and everything is ready for a snow load.

My rabbit barn has been a temporary structure for a few years too long.  Back about 3 years ago, they were "nomad" bunnies (different herd, but still my bunnies), and lived in tents I bought at Wally World on borrowed land.  After we moved here, I decided I didn't want to build anything permanent just yet, as I needed to work out just how I wanted things to work.  With the tiny bit of space we have useable on our 2 1/4 acres, anything permanent best be in the most reasonable spot, or it will have a domino effect.

But, I think I waited one season too long!!  Last winter was fairly mild, spring sprung early, and I took it for granted.  The buns are still in those tents, but those tents are on their last legs!  Now we are talking we need to go get one of those tents from Costco for car ports to get me through til spring weather allows us to move the cages out of the way and build them something solid.  But, I STILL don't know what I want!! 

Meantime, I am out there shoring up what I have, bracing the joints with 2 inch pvc pipes and 2x4's to support the snow load that is sure to dump in the middle of the night while I sleep.  We've been really lucky so far.  The one time snow caught me totally off guard (it NEVER snows here, and the weather man said freezing level was 1500 ft!!  We are on the water!), and dumped 3 inches of wet, iced over snow, just a few weeks ago.  The barn held up, but you can bet I busted my fanny raking all that snow off as fast as I could before something gave!

While we don't get snow often, we do loose power nearly every year out here.  We only moved back here a couple years ago now, but I grew up here.  Our narrow, windy, country road squeezed tight by trees overhanging the road on one side and the canal washing away the bank on the other side, we always have mud slides, falling trees, or hunks of the road slipping down into the water.  So, we just do what we can to prepare.

We have two weeks worth of feed stocked up, just incase we can't get to town before we run out.  That's feed for everything here, us and critters.  Oil for the oil lamps, gas for the gas heater, and for the butane gas burner for cooking on.  I busted my fanny making sure the wash was all done today, so we had lots of clean, warm clothes to wear, and didn't have anything sitting around getting rank from being rain soaked and tossed into the dirty clothes bin. 

I went to get straw for the critters bedding yesterday, and it looked like we weren't the only ones preparing.  Del's feed/straw barn, which usually has hay and straw stacked two stories high, was down to it's last bales when I picked up my straw.  And there was a line of people waiting to load up their orders!  Our passes have been pretty bad, so maybe the trucks aren't making it over to deliever more hay from E. Wa?  Wasn't a pretty sight.  All the more reason to find ways to depend on local sources rather than stuff brought in from way over yonder.

Well, best get off to bed, got more to do tomorrow in prep.  Storms supposed to pull in tomorrow night, turning to snow sometime after bed, I suppose.  Then we are to be frozen solid for a week, or so.  So much to do!!  I just hope we don't end up packing water the entire time!!  THAT's no fun!

K

Babies!!!!  One of the funnest parts about farm life is the ever constant wonder and excitement of birth.  I get giddy as a kid at Christmas everytime I have a doe getting close to kindling, or a hen who has eggs close to pipping.  And, when you have bunnies, or dogs, or cats, it isn't just a spring time phenomenon, but carries on throughout the year.

We probably won't get into breeding dogs anytime soon, after the long, emotional drama of whelping Loki and his litter mates, and loosing Ash.  We don't feel the need to breed cats, with a bevy to choose from at the humane society, but bunnies, that's another story.

I have three Angora does who are of age to breed right now.  Angoras are by far my favorites.  I LOVE the little bunnies, I love the wool, and their sheer size.  All of my girls adore affection and attention, so playing with their babies is even more delightful.  And, considering I don't breed my Angoras as often as my Rex, it is an extra treat when I have fuzzy litters in the barn.

If I am lucky, I get two litters a year from each doe.  I have very specific schedules I like to follow with them, according to their shearing days, and the daytime temperatures.  Summer is out for all the rabbits as far as breeding goes.  It is enough having to shear the rabbits weekly to keep them close cut enough to stay half way cool.  I would never consider putting a bun through the internal furnace of pregnancy during summer.  Here, we don't have long, hot summers, but still, that kills about 3 months of the year for breeding. 

Of those other 9 months, I get three chances to get the doe bred, since I shear every 3 months and I only breed within a week of their scheduled shearing dates, with the shear happening a week after they are bred.  If they miss, I have to either let them go until their next shearing day, or rebreed right away, and do a sacrifice shear.  I have had a couple of does miss, and bred them back right away, let them carry their coats, and had night mares with the ever growing wool.  So, I decided to be as fair as I can to the girls, and have the wool be my primary goal with each one.  This approach allows for one miss each cycle, and almost always gives me at least one litter per doe each year.  I tend to let the girls have a rest after a sucessful breeding, before trying for one more litter, if I have time and the room, before summer hits.

The Rex I can be a bit more busy with, but for their sakes, I don't want to over load them, either.  They are my 'working' breed, for meat and fur, but the breeders always end up being cherished pets in the end.  Rex are fun, too, especially with the varieties I chose to work with.  The tris, you never know what patterns you will end up with, and each kit is always unique.  I love the calico cat look of the tris.  And the yummy, dark chocolates, or the pinkish silver tint of the lilacs.  It is always exciting to watch them grow and develop into that rabbit you always dreamed of breeding, of taking them to the show table and winning all the legs.  As I see more and more consistancy in my litters, the more excited I get each season.  I will have more and more to take to the shows! 

And, soon, I will have Beverens.  An old, rare breed that is in desparate need of breeders and fanciers to rebuild its numbers.  I haven't even met any of these in person, but just from what some of my friends say, who do have them, I am in love already.  These will probably excite me even more than the angoras, simply because each litter will be a step in the right direction of helping this grand old breed.  I have always been a preservation breeder at heart, so this will be just one more way I can devulge in that passion of mine.  I am super eager to head to the show in Chehalis, WA this  year, so I can meet some of my friends Bevs.  And, who knows, maybe bring some home!

Now that this litter, pictured above, has finally come (I have been waiting nearly 3 months for these guys, due to hang ups and misses), I am anxious for them all to survive and thrive.  I can't wait to see how their coats develop, and their colors!  Having the goal of high percentage, clean, deep red German hybrids, I am hoping they turn out to be exactly as I had hoped!

Two more litters of Angoras, and two litters of Rex are 'in the pot', so the excitement level is at an all time high here for this year.   

How FUN!

K

I so love my pup.  Loki and I have a history together, and complete drama (see my farewell to his mom, and you'll see).  He's like a child to me.  But, I realized yesterday, my attitude towards him is causing him trouble. 

He was doing great, was very responsive, obedient, and even fairly calm, for a long time.  Then, I noticed, over the last 4 months or so, he had been getting more and more difficult to work with.  He'd come up with odd ways of dealing with things he didn't want to do.  He's been bewildering trainers.  He pouts.  He throws tantrums.  He squirms out of a down/stay.  He sneaks out of his crate.  He's starting to use my growing beds and garden as his toilet (he KNOWS better!!!!).  I was starting to think I was way in over my head with this guy.  I was getting really worried I wasn't going to be able to expect anything but spaz from this guy. 

I have trained horses, a darned good portion of my life (25 years).  I learned their behaviors, how to read them, help their owners understand them, and help horses understand people.  I was GOOD at it.  I should know that the same approach has to apply to dogs. 

I need to learn to understand them, in their language, and see the world through their eyes.  I need to act like a dog that will be the leader of a pack.  But, I am so emotionally attached to Loki and his mom, I couldn't use reason, or assertion.  I kind of got jarred out of that last night.  I watched a program on TV that showed these dogs that were pulling stunts that show dominance over their owners.  I recognized these behaviors as ones Loki was asserting towards me!  Things that I thought were cute, loving, affectionate were being explained as actually the dog saying "you are my toy and plaything.  You belong to me, and I lord over you!".  Now wait a minute!!! 

As much as I love my dog, and want to baby him, I love him so much that I know I have to stop.  I have to get real with him, and become the pack leader he needs to stay stable.  Otherwise, he is going to feel he needs to fill that role, since no one else is doing it.  Then, he'd become potentially dangerous, considering how smart and quick he is.  With kids in the house, no way can I let that happen.

In just one day of changing how I approach him, and keeping a level head, and having firm expectations of him, he's a changed dog.  He still tries to squirm out of a down/stay, he still sneaks out of the crate when we are in the other room, those things will take more work.  But, the hyperness, the obsessive bounce, it's nearly gone!  He's thinking, he's focused, and he is listening to me.  We had a great walk this morning.  He threw one tantrum, and realized I meant business.  After that, he fell in beside me, and we had a no nonsense walk.  It was great!

Of course, it is a far cry from doing what he is going to be expected to do, here soon.  I found a trainer in my area that will help me train him to be my hearing assistance dog.  AND, she can help me give him agility as an energy outlet!  He's going to need both.  He is a working dog, and gets so bored if there isn't something to work on.  I am excited!!  Of course, the weather has got to change before  we can do a lot, but we will continue our walks, expand them to include more time and new experiences.  And the trainer will be coming to my house to help me get him started on some signals.  With his obsessiveness over the stove buzzer, I don't think it will take much for him to learn!

So here's to mine and Loki's journey together into a new relationship!

K

Gosh, farm life can be hard.  I don't mean working hard, blisters on the hands and dog tired at the end of the day.  That stuff is hard, but sorta satisfying in a way that just makes the hard enjoyable.  It's another kind of hard that I am talking about.  Hard to not get too attached to an animal you have, and then have it's body give out long before yours ever does.  Or have it murdered by the local wildlife who thinks your farm is the next best thing to King's Table.  It's hard not to fall in love with the sweetest kit in the litter, raise it up, and have it grow old.  It's hard to say good bye to a critter who has shared years with you, and was as fond of you as you were of it.  And even worse, it is hard having to help your children understand why these friends have to go before they are ready for them to.  Who ever wants a friend to go?? 

Day before yesterday was yet another of those days.  This year we have lost a lot of friends, of feather and fur.  But, this time, it was one extra close to my little boy's heart.  We all loved her, but Fru was my son's first real pet.  The one he was responsible for, and the one he could relate to and talk to when we wanted a friend to talk to.  And she'd talk back to him.  She loved everyone, but she was super patient, and extra careful with my son.  It was like she knew that her reaction to him was very important to his self confidence.  She was a wise little lady.

My son's fondest memories of her is taking her out on sunny days for long walks in the yard.  Well, she'd walk him, lol.  He'd have me don her pretty purple harness, and spend hours just hanging out with her in the grass, or following her as she ran from one plant to the next.  Sometimes it seemed like she'd play tag with  him, which was and unbelievable riot.  When they both needed a break from all the exploring, she'd hop up onto his lap as he sat in the sun, and just lay there like a lap cat. 

Fru was an amazing mom, and fostered so many little kits to first time mom's that just couldn't figure it out.  She even raised a few angoras for me.  And towards the end of her breeding career, she showed me she carried my favorite color!  Chocolate!  OH Yummy!  I am so glad I kept a beautiful chocolate otter buck from her last litter.  Not just because of her value in my barn, but my son has something of his dear friend left in this little buck.  He is just as sweet, though still new to the idea of being such great pals as his mom was with a little boy. 

Fru came to live with us as a wee kit, weaned way too early from her mom.  My first Rex, I was totally smitten with her.  My son was just an infant at the time, but my daughter packed her around like a doll, and she quickly became totally expecting of being held every day.  She later developed a 'lanquage' of grunts and squeeks that were so endearing.  I could plop her over my shoulder like a big cat, and she'd squeek and grunt at me while I carried her around.  I never really heard them, I am deaf.  But, I could feel them, and their different tones.  I was totally facinated with it, and learned to 'talk' back to her. 

As my kids got older, my daughter realized that Fru seemed to have a special thing for my son, and she passed the responsiblity of her over to him.  He was in heaven.  She was his special friend right from the start.  Not a day went by without him asking to take her out and give her her exercise.  Now I wish that I had said yes way more often than I did. 

In loosing as many friends as we had this year, it never fails to run through my head and heart, how I wish that I had done so many things different with each of them, all for their sakes.  I wish I had taken the time to know them even more, to understand them, and try to do better by them. 

Sometimes it feels like G~D tells me, life is short, you need to live each day deliberately, purposefully, and really be aware of each moment you get with your friends and love ones.  Don't just brush it off, or rush through it.   Don't get impatient, loose  your cool when you can't get them to understand, or they don't understand you.  You never know when it will be the last moment you get with them.  And once they are gone, you always wish you had had more time with them, done things with them more often, or said how much you loved them more frequently. 

I have often asked Him why my children, and even I,  have to endure so much pain in loosing so many friends this past year.  Especially my children.  It seems so unfair that they have to go through this, and this year has been considerably worst than others.  But, I know that He is trying to show them something that they need to carry with them through their lives.  They need to understand the sheer importance of their family and friends in a time where these are often left on the by way as people pursue careers, money and the ulimate lifestlye.  Real relationships are a thing left to chance, and aren't focused on or nutured like they should be.  Pain can bring clarity and focus to our busy lives.  Makes us stop and realize what we have been doing, and how badly we need to change things.  It is up to us what we do with that realization. 

The easiest way to deal with it is just forget what brought the pain about.  But,  how on earth does one ever forget a true friend?  I still have vivid memories of my horse, El Faraj, who carried me to more wins in the show ring on a National Circuit than I ever dreamed I could have had.  It wasn't me, it was all him.  He just was doing his job.  But at home, we had a thing I know neither of us had with any one else.  We had this ultimate trust, friendship, and we were there for each other.  I love my folks, but he was my family.  My folks did more for me than a lot of kids could say, they took care of me, probably even spoiled me a bit, but, emotionally, that horse did more for me than anyone alive at the time.  He kept me out of trouble. 

I still cry over this boy, and he passed away with a stranger, to me, before I had my first child, more than 14 years ago.  I still miss him.  He kept me out of trouble then, and the memory of him helps me remember how important it is to foster my relationships, to take care of my family.  I didn't get nearly enough time with him, he was taken from me long before I ever wanted to let him go.  But, in having to, I learned a lot, and am still learning with each friend I loose now.  Watching my children go through the same pain, it is hard.  But, I know that they are learning valuable lessons that I pray will stick with them for their life. 

In short, thank you Fru, for being our friend, and spending your time with us.  Thank you for helping my little boy, and teaching him something I never could without your help.  You'll always be treasured, remembered and missed.  The barn seems strange without you begging for your food and attention each day, the yard empty with you crashing through my flowers with your little boy  in tow.  But, the lessons we have learned from you will be with us forever.

See you someday again, friend,

K